In The Trenches

Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage


What is the time commitment? 

This course is designed to be as succinct as possible to give you fast results. It is also designed to be able to be completed at your own pace.

The course is $197 

There are no refunds; however, if you aren’t happy or still struggling, please reach out to me.

No way, no how. No one has to know that you purchase this course. Even in the Facebook group you will be able to show up anonymously if you are concerned. I know how weird and scary it can be to get support so I specifically designed it to be as effortless as possible.

I’m not knocking any other support resource out there, but nothing gets at the core of what makes deployments so difficult quite like this one. I think the phrase “you get what you pay for” applies.

Absolutely! It is never too late to start feeling better and more connected!

If there is one thing I know about the military, it is to expect the unexpected. Preparing for things in this way will only make things easier in the future. Plus, it also applies to ANYTIME your spouse is gone (TDY, etc.)

How much does it cost?

What if I change my mind? 

Will any of this harm my spouse’s career in any way?

Why would I pay when there are so many free resources available?

My spouse is already on deployment, is this something that would help?

My spouse isn’t leaving anytime soon, why would I need this? 

  • You are thinking about how you are going to be the sole person responsible for EVERYTHING with little to no breaks - overwhelming to say the least!

  • You feel like you are staring down a to do list so long that you don’t how how you are ever going to get it all done

  • You are so in the weeds that you can’t even ask for support because that’s just one more thing you would have to do

  • You feel so alone and like you’re falling in a deep, dark hole with no way out

  • You already struggle to communicate with your spouse and have no clue how it is going to work on deployment.

  • You feel resentful of your spouse, of the military, of being in this position to begin with all in the name of someone else’s dream/job

  • You want to feel like you can get through the deployment without it breaking you.

  • You want to feel like you are still on the same page with your spouse no matter how much space separates you. 

  • You want to feel like you can share your frustrations and resentments with your spouse and actually feel like they understand and want to make things better

  • You want to feel like your marriage is getting stronger and better and you are able to continue to do what makes you happy

  • You don’t want the deployment to feel like lost months

  • You see other military spouses online and they seem to be doing it so much better and have so many fewer problems

  • You join military spouse facebook groups or in person meet-ups and felt more discouraged than ever

  • You have searched for every deployment resource you can get your hands on without luck

  • You maybe even looked into Tricare-covered therapy or retreats with the Chaplain and couldn’t coordinate schedules or just didn’t get the results you were looking for

  • You will feel confident that you get through this deployment (and any thereafter). You know it will not break you or your marriage. Although you will always miss your person, it won’t feel like an impossible task, and will be something you KNOW without a doubt that you can manage well. (This peace of mind is priceless and will save you from that impending dread that occurs when you learn about another deployment).

  • You will feel more appreciated and valued by your spouse for all you are managing at home and for being the amazing spouse you are! 

  • You will feel like you are a priority in your marriage despite being away on deployment and being at the mercy of the military’s schedule 

  • You will feel so supported and so resourced that loneliness could not impact you if it tried (and it will try!)

  • You will feel your marriage is stronger than ever despite the distance between you

  • Managing Loneliness - This is so much more than simply missing your person next to you. The loneliness that comes with deployment feels deep and unavoidable. We will discuss ways to improve this while increasing connection to your spouse in the process.

  • Getting on the same page as your spouse despite living separate lives - While getting into your own routine can be helpful, you can also feel further apart than just the miles between you. How do you close that gap? I’ve got you. We will talk about how to feel like a solid team even when you are apart.

  • Managing the Overwhelm that comes from being left behind and responsible for ALL that entails. To say that what you manage when your spouse is gone is A LOT is an understatement. I’ll give you ways to make your to do list seem more manageable and actually help you take things off your plate

  • Communication tips and workarounds - Communication is hard enough when your spouse is home! Let’s find ways to create rock solid communication while your spouse is gone so you avoid unnecessary fights and miscommunication.
  • Managing Disappointment - With deployment can come a lot of disappointment for all sorts of reasons. This emotion, more than most, can lead to so many other negative outcomes and we want to make sure it is handled with love and care.

  • You’ll get a video from me discussing each topic (as well as an audio track if you prefer to listen on the go) 

  • Included is a workbook that helps you customize it all to your life, your marriage, and your deployment situation
  • A "What I'd Do If...." section that breaks down common difficulties during deployment and discusses how I would handle them both myself and with my clients

  • Sense of community - included is a private Facebook group to connect with others also on deployment, get all your questions answered and just be in a space that gets it. You can also show up anonymously if that feels better. I don’t want anything to get in the way of you getting what you need

  • Lifetime access to all the content so you can return to it whenever you need

I know you have dozens of deployment resources available to you so what is so different about this one?
I have been to ALL the pre-deployment briefs. I have downloaded the deployment resources and joined the deployment retreats. I have tried the Chaplain services and worked as a military therapist for longer than made me happy.

Those resources are fine and might seem better on your budget, but they don’t cover what this course covers. 

Therapy doesn’t allow you to consume it all on your own time. It doesn’t allow you to do it from the comfort of your own home without the need for child care or creating time that you just don’t have to go to the appointment, and your therapist might not have ever been through it themselves and just doesn’t know how complex it all is.

Marriage retreats are great in the moment, but what happens when you get home and everything you have learned or tried doesn’t work? You end up feeling more alone and hopeless than before. 

The deployment brief information is fine, but it doesn’t address the hard, emotional moments that make deployments so tough. They don’t tell you how to deal with your loneliness or resentment or utter exhaustion. 

I basically took all the best parts of those other programs, eliminated all the annoying parts, and upped the ante to make it even more beneficial to you. 

You get PhD-level information that you can consume on your own time without having to schedule appointments. You get the community aspect without having to lay it all out there for everyone at the current duty station. You get 100% confidentiality so no one has to know you are getting this support. 

The parts that make you think you can’t do it anymore.

The parts that make you feel like you and your marriage won’t survive this.

The parts that make you say, “I want out. It’s too much.”

I’m taking these hard parts and I’m going to break them down and make them not only more manageable and easier, but help you and your marriage to get stronger and more solid. Parts that I have seen help my clients the most.

This programs shines a light on all the toughest parts of deployment that no one usually talks about out loud and helps teach you to manage them in a way that feels good to you and grows your marriage in the process…because when you and your spouse are on the same page and your foundation is strong…everything gets easier (and much more fun!).

My spouse and I recently went through our 4th deployment. Here I was, home alone with a newborn and our 4 year-old while also planning our move to Japan and I was feeling overwhelmed. Even with my parents' support and being surrounded by people at all times, I felt lonely and sad. I felt frustrated that I was even in this situation and all I wanted to do was blame my spouse. I felt all this resentment and knew it needed to go somewhere. In the past, I definitely would have taken it out on him which was never a good move. We also felt further apart and had some making up to do even long after he came home.

After working over a decade with military families and going through my own deployments, I finally know what works and I knew what I needed to do to get myself through it without feeling miserable and like I was white knuckling it at every turn. So while I was in the trenches, I really honed in on the few things that make the biggest difference and perfected them. Because the last thing I needed was to spend a lot more time that I didn’t have. I couldn’t add another thing to my plate that would end up a disappointment. I wanted to feel more connected to my spouse. I wanted to feel like I wasn’t alone and I wanted us to not lose those months during deployment. I didn’t want to feel like we had to work super hard to get back on the same page when he got home.

So I applied all the principles and all the tips you will find in this course in my own life and deployment and what happened? I didn’t feel like I was failing at everything I was doing. I felt like I was thriving (so much better than just surviving). My husband and I had deep, meaningful conversations, even though he was limited on time and half the time we had no communication whatsoever. We really appreciated each other and grew our connection. We had a few disagreements and worked them out in ways that grew our relationship and didn’t take away from the limited time we did have to talk. Most importantly, it was confirmation that the foundation we have built (and I’ll help you build as well) is so solid it doesn’t matter what the military throws our way, I know we will be ok and we will be as in love as we were in the beginning, if not more so. We have two more deployments over the next two years and I know we will tackle them in a way that will keep us strong together.

What I have learned is without really intentionally getting on the same page as your spouse, you have so much more to make up for when they get back and you are more apart than ever. The reintegration period is hard enough without that extra work. This course addresses it all!

I worked with one military spouse who was gearing up for her first deployment. She was feeling really nervous about the impact it was going to have on herself and her marriage. She was very resentful that she was even in this situation to begin with. Together, we worked on the exact things included in this course. She reached out at the end of the deployment and said, “Not only did I get through the deployment, but my marriage is actually stronger than when he left. I didn’t think that was possible.”

Another client came to me because she was feeling really unloved. She stated her spouse was so busy with the deployment and all that it entailed and she was feeling like she was working so hard and wasn’t getting enough back to fill her tank. After applying these principles she said, “I am feeling so much more loved. My husband says he feels better too because now he knows what to do to make me feel better.” 

I had a client who was gearing up for her spouse to return home and was nervous because reintegration has not always gone well in the past. She was worried that his “my way or the highway” approach when he returned would really disrupt the structure she had created and was already feeling resentment of having to change. We created a rock solid plan that helped her identify these specific fears, look at what needed to be communicated to her spouse and HOW to do it in a way that actually would get her results instead of defensiveness. She said she was able to enjoy the reintegration process more than ever before as a result of the work she did during the deployment.


I'm here to make deployments less daunting and more doable so you confidently get through your deployment and strengthen your marriage in the process. 

 but when you are staring at an upcoming deployment on the calendar (or in the middle of one), it is the LAST thing you feel. 




Right now it feels impossible: 


What will change?

Examples of how this has worked: 

What’s Included: 

How Will It Work?

What is Different About this Program?

Frequently Asked Questions

Because I'm guessing...

From my over 14 years working as a military psychologist and living the life myself, I identified the HARDEST and WORST parts of deployment. 

Deployments are what distinguishes military life from every other job. Spending anywhere from 3 to 12+ months is SO hard and something that very few people in your life can relate to, unless they are military themselves. 

I’m Dr. Lindsay Cavanagh. I’m a psychologist and Military Marriage Coach with over 14 years working with military couples, and a fellow military spouse.

I know first-hand the challenges the military puts on a marriage, and I have perfected how to strengthen military marriages even with those challenges in mind. I am passionate about helping military spouses have the marriage they TRULY desire. One they feel good in everyday. One where they feel like a priority.

I cannot wait to share these strategies with you!

Who Am I?

You are strong, capable, resilient, and amazing...

I decided to create this course because not only is it what I have seen make the biggest difference for my clients and their marriages, but also because I know what deployments feel like.
I get it. I’ve been there.

I want all these results for you and your marriage!

In her own words: “This is my first time going through a deployment and I have been having a really hard time. Not only does Lindsay provide me with the emotional and mental support I need but she has also given me incredibly helpful tools to help me and my children get through this difficult time in our lives.
I thank my lucky stars everyday I found Lindsay when I did,

Here’s the deal…

This course essentially eliminates ALL the barriers so you actually FEEL better about the deployment. So you don’t feel like the deployment is the worst thing that can happen to you. You know you and your marriage will be stronger as a result.

 not sure I would make it through this tour without her.”

You’re invited to…

That may be true, but research shows that it is also one of the most stressful times of the year.

Between the financial stress of it all, deciding how you are actually going to spend the days, worrying about whether you are going to get leave or if you will host, managing everyone else’s expectations around you, and the pressure that comes from making it nice, it is no wonder that marriages tend to struggle more around this time. 

Whether your spouse is home or away, I know a lot of pressure falls on you as the military spouse to manage it all, and it can be a time where you can feel more overwhelmed and alone than ever.

  • You get to enjoy the holiday the way you want with less stress and more love. 

  • You feel even more connected to your spouse, whether they are home or not.

  • You navigate the toughest holiday challenges as a team.

As soon as you click the link that best fits your situation and sign up, you’ll get an email with all the delicious details.
But here’s the basics: 

-Video training will be sent to you on release date with everything you need to have a stress-free holiday

-The opportunity to submit anonymous questions straight to me regarding your specific marriage and holiday situation that I will respond to and get you all set up for success

-Three week access to the training to watch as many times as you need

Working as a military psychologist for over 14 years, I noticed a consistent trend in families feeling more stress and having much more tension in their marriages during the holidays and I want to save you from all that!

If you want to feel more ease during the holiday season and more connected to your spouse, this training is for YOU!

Is your spouse deployed or gone for the holidays? Don’t worry, I got you!

I am offering a training for you if your spouse is home AND a separate training if your spouse is away (like mine is now)!

I want you to feel stress free and more connected to your spouse regardless of if your spouse is home or away. The best part is YOU get to choose which training fits best right now.

Q: What is Managing Holiday Stress: Military Marriage Addition?
Want to get through the holidays with less stress and a stronger marriage?
Managing Holiday Stress:
Military Marriage Edition
Frequently Asked Questions: 
AND….to make it even easier, I have decided not to have this training live.

On release date, you will get access to the online training so you can get the information at a time that is most convenient for you!
Now, picture this instead.
This 30 minute FREE training is everything you need to survive the holidays and strengthen your marriage in the process!
My Spouse is Deployed
My Spouse is home

As the songs say,

Download my ebook now to get behind the scenes tools and tips to create a happier marriage now (without your partner having to be involved or change - yes! it's possible!)

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FREE ebook

Got a deployment on the horizon?
Fear not, I have just the thing!
Whether this is your first or your tenth deployment, you'll find SO many tips and actionable steps to help you make this as seamless as possible.

more details

Deployment Survival guide ebook

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